Eternal Echoes: Crafting a Digital Memorial in a Steam Profile

Just over two years ago, a friend of mine passed away in their sleep. It was shocking. Let’s refer to them as Ash, though that’s not their real name. They were incredibly humorous, emotionally open, and compassionate. And since Ash and I were connected on Steam, I have a clear record of how many days have transpired since their departure, just as I recall what they were enjoying before they turned in for the night. They were playing Sea Of Thieves.

Time and again over the past two years, I have found myself checking Ash’s Steam profile and the games they enjoyed most, feeling an urge to play them as well. It’s a longing I can’t fully put into words, but to me, the data of what Ash was playing doesn’t just serve as a factual record of who they were; it also feels like a recent one. Simultaneously, I wonder if it’s simply my heightened self-awareness, creating a connection from a collection of curated information instead of something real.

Since the rise of social media, nearly everyone who passes leaves behind a digital trace to follow. How accurately does someone’s Steam profile reflect who they are or were? I reached out to the Oxford Internet Institute (OII), a multidisciplinary department at the University of Oxford that conducts research on how the internet interacts with our everyday existence, to see if this could be analyzed scientifically.

Dr. Tamas Foldes of the OII, who specializes in quantitative social research and experimental psychology, highlights several caveats associated with studying ‘authenticity’ on different social media platforms. In a research setting, for example, they might conduct surveys where individuals assess how genuine they feel in various contexts, run experiments manipulating variables like anonymity or audience, analyze posts to identify patterns of self-expression, or employ a mix of these methods.

“I mention this because there’s a significant chance that these methodologies are not particularly effective at exploring profound and personal dimensions of what it means to be human, such as authenticity,” he explains. There appears to be a lack of qualitative research in this area, according to Dr. Foldes, while the quantitative work often lacks standardization.

“Setting all of those caveats aside, I believe that people’s online identities on social media can differ quite a bit from their offline selves,” says Dr. Foldes. “This is mostly due to the impact of self-discrepancy growing with larger audiences.” It’s also much easier to engage in strategic self-presentation online—consider how platforms like TikTok provide features such as AR skin smoothing, for instance. “But is the effect evidenced in research strong enough to claim that people are inauthentic on social media? I don’t think so.”

Another game Ash indulged in that evening was Stardew Valley, a game they logged 320 hours in, which I am also quite familiar with. I go through phases of being laser-focused on it but lack the discipline to surpass a single year or recall what to plant when. Ash had a slight West Country accent, and when they took on the role of Dungeon Master over a decade ago, we often joked that every NPC in the game was a farmer from Somerset. I envision them cultivating a truly beautiful and splendid farm and that they engaged in multiplayer sessions. I can imagine they would have loved last year’s update allowing pets, as they adored their own cats. However, these are merely speculations I have to conjure entirely.

I ask Dr. Foldes if people behave differently across various social media platforms, and he confirms there is some evidence supporting this idea. “People tend to develop platform-specific personas. Each platform has its unique vibe, features, and audience, which influence how authentically users portray themselves,” he notes. “On Instagram, someone might curate idealized images for a large audience, whereas on Discord, they may share more personal thoughts with a smaller circle. Some individuals even maintain multiple accounts on the same platform.” But how does this translate into gaming, if at all?

Dr. Foldes indicates that the games a person frequently plays can offer insights into their preferences, yet they are not wholly accurate. Even with comprehensive studies, when people grant researchers access to track their online and offline behaviors (an endeavor his lab is currently attempting), it wouldn’t be straightforward.

“Game selections can be affected by social circles, current trends, discounts, availability, or even simply personal feelings at any given moment. Additionally, many games provide distinct experiences – a game can be approached competitively, creatively, socially, for the narrative, or to solve problems,” explains Dr. Foldes.

Sea Of Thieves is not just the last game Ash played, but also the one they logged the most hours in, with over 500 hours recorded. It is teeming with emergent player behavior and unwritten rules—for instance, sloops (the smallest ship that can be crewed by a single player) often band together when they encounter another sloop in distress. I don’t understand these nuances, as I’m not a player of Sea Of Thieves, to be honest. I tried playing it to see if I could connect with what Ash appreciated about it, but I personally enjoy playing Sea Of Thieves solo—as a peaceful expedition, listening to the wind and the sea. Ash played it nearly every day with friends. I can envision them being lively, laughing, jumping, and braving the virtual seas while navigating all the unspoken agreements with ease. It makes me regret not having played alongside them to experience that side of them.

One other game was Civilization VI, which isn’t surprising. They were a classicist with several tattoos referencing Roman elements. If you had asked me beforehand, I would have said Ash likely played as the Roman emperor Trajan, but it turned out Ash was incredibly skilled at Civ, having won games with every leader and every scenario available. Trying out Civ felt like a chore, as I lack both the expertise and patience to enjoy or excel at 4X games, yet I persevered until I discovered that Ash seemed to have not played it since early 2017. Time has continued, resetting the ‘last played’ section of their profile to read (0), allowing me to closely observe the list of games they had accrued the most hours in. Upon the launch of Civ VI, Ash racked up over 200 hours of playtime within just a year. I can’t help but wonder what that year was like for them.

“Honestly, you can learn a lot about someone just by looking at their Steam profile.”