The Oregon Toddle is a 1971 video game celebrated for its objective and the likelihood that your character may succumb to dysentery. Now, a web-based version has been released that presents you with the gastrointestinal ailment right from the start, and your new goal is to manage it while on your journey.
You Have Not Died of Dysentery offers a comedic twist on the classic game, complete with pixel-style graphics and eight-bit tunes. Sanitary conditions were quite poor back in the day, so you might contract dysentery even before embarking on your travel. It is crucial to stock up on clothing, food, ammunition, oxen, and toilet paper prior to setting off if you have any chance of avoiding dire bowel misfortunes.
Once you’re on your way, you’ll need to stop every few miles to relieve yourself. When you do, prepare to be treated to a delightful view of the pixelated scenery to admire. You may have dysentery, but at least the landscape you are traversing is beautiful.
The alerts that appear on the screen are amusing as well. “Feels like a bunch of ducks having a fit down there,” says one. “There’s some real thunderation happening down there,” claims another.
On top of that, everyone you encounter comments on how unwell you appear and how foul you smell. Apparently, even if you pause for a number two as often as the game permits and remain well-stocked with toilet paper, you simply cannot look pristine.
For a free-to-play web game, it’s an enjoyable experience, and I would highly suggest giving it a try.