“Blindfolded Mario 64 Speedrunner Achieves Near-World Record Despite Webcam Glitch”

Blindfolded speedrun expert Bubzia has consistently excelled in the sightless Orderly Mario 64 community for years, and he shows no signs of slowing down. Currently, he is focused on surpassing his own blindfolded 70-star world record, and after an extended effort spanning several months, he was on track to achieve just that. However, the entire community became anxious that his endeavor might fail due to a malfunctioning webcam that would have invalidated the attempt regardless.

On February 10, Bubzia was about 20 minutes into the roughly 90-minute run, just a few seconds shy of world record pace. The community was cautiously excited, believing they might witness a new record—if he played skillfully through the remaining segments, Bubzia could easily achieve it. But at the 23:59 mark, the unimaginable occurred. Bubzia’s webcam unexpectedly turned off.

One of the key rules in blindfolded speedrunning is that it is crucial to verify that you are indeed blindfolded while playing. This typically involves placing a webcam fixed on your face throughout the game, which is the format Bubzia’s streams usually follow. Earlier that day, he had been experiencing some issues with his camera, but those appeared to have been resolved. As it turned out, they were not.

Since Bubzia was blindfolded, he had no awareness that his webcam had suddenly turned off. He continued to play flawlessly, eventually achieving faster than world record pace with exceptional splits leading into the later stages of the run. The community’s feelings shifted from optimism to dread as they all began to realize that this potential world record could be completely invalidated due to the webcam malfunction. Of course, one member of the chat humorously suggested that “this could be the funniest wr,” so it wasn’t all dread.

Many of Bubzia’s viewers were secretly hoping for him to stumble, just so no one would have to face the disappointment of a world record invalidated by a minor technical issue—especially when Bubzia had already dedicated over an hour trying to achieve it, completely unaware that all his effort had been abruptly rendered meaningless.

In the end, Bubzia encountered a few mistakes towards the end of the game that could have cost him the world record by a few seconds anyway. “It wasn’t a bad run by any means, but I’m so not satisfied, dude,” Bubzia expressed in the final moments of the attempt. “Yep. Short of the record by a few seconds. Oh, shit.” After a brief silence, he added: “Oh, wait. Camera is off?”

Famed Orderly Mario 64 speedrunner attempts to conquer the game blindfolded on a dance pad and fails, but not as poorly as you or I would.